Thursday, 16 June 2016

PND!

That moment when he says "I know you don't want to admit it but I think your abit post natal!"

Yeah, I am, I didn't wanna admit it but me crying every time I can't settle Olli kinda gave it away, me shouting at Lilli for EVERYTHING! Snapping at everyone mostly Michael the poor sod!

I had to take a step up and call the doctors...just doing that is hard because I'm admitting to myself it's present...Going to the appointment is even harder but once I started talking about it the doctor really helped me, she gave me a few questionnaire things to fill out and spoke about what tablets I could use while breastfeeding and there was people I could talk to ect, I felt so good for going and finally admitting it to myself!

Some days I feel amazing and I clean the house and I'm super mum and I really have everything under control! Other days Im really under it all, the washing the washing up, hovering, junk everywhere it's just awful and it takes me days to get on top of it again, and I can't have a routine because Olli doesn't have a pattern of napping or anything yet!

Some days I really shout at Lilli, I don't mean to, I love her with all my heart and soul and would literally die for that girl but god she does my head in sometimes, her generally not listening to me is my biggest problem, It makes me so angry I hate being ignored, and when she is with other kids she's even worse :(

Sleep deprevation is the worst and can put me in a foul mood for the whole day! And it's not Olli he sleeps fantastic, It's when lilli wakes up at 6am and starts talking to me and I have to get up and I'm like a bloody zombie! And crying at 5am cause you've been up since 2am, and your all hot and sweaty and falling asleep while feeding but nothing will settle him is just the bloody worst!

Mike is so much help to me! He does so much, gives him bottles n gets him dressed but most importantly let's me have my 'me time' cause he knows if I don't ill snap and cry and be a total mess!
He cooks and cleans and is honestly amazing to us!

But after all this I'm still here, I'm still standing and I'm getting better!!

How did you cope?

Mumma
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