High-Functioning Depression

High-functioning depression is something that’s not talked about a lot.  Whenever I’m on social media, looking through some of the hashtags or talking to the different people on there, I find very few mentions of it.  It’s something I feel needs talking about.  So I’d like to tell you a bit about my depression and how I am a high-functioning depressed person.

When talking about depression, for those who haven’t experienced it personally, people often picture someone like Eeyore from Winnie-the-Pooh: someone who is gloomy, pessimistic and anhedonic.  If you think of the stereotype, it’s often someone who might look a bit like this:

Does that look familiar?  Your stereotypical, socially-perceived depressed person.  Well, what people don’t always realise is that there are two types of depression.

This one is known as low-functioning depression.  It’s what society commonly perceives to be “depression” and it’s where stigma creates one of the biggest problems for people who are depressed, because it’s “the way we should be”, even though that’s not the case.

The Reality of High-Functioning Depression

As you may have guessed, high-functioning depression is the complete opposite of low-functioning depression.  We don’t get stuck in the funk where we cannot do anything, we don’t spend hours upon hours trapped in our beds, we function more than that.  If anything, we appear to be normal members of society.  That does not, however, mean that we aren’t struggling.  Check out this article by amysboarderlineworld, which sums up what I’m trying to say quite nicely.

You see, we might appear to be normal, functioning members of society but that is an illusion, a myth we have created for others to see.  We struggle, perhaps just as much as someone with low-functioning depression.  We just continue along our lives as though nothing is wrong which, in turn, makes us seem like nothing is wrong.

That is the reality.  The struggle.  People see that we are “normal, functioning members of society” and assume that we are not depressed or anxious (as that’s the thing, it isn’t limited to depression).  Unfortunately, it’s the way it works, for people seem to think we are, for want of a better word, “normal”.

But we’re not.

I’m a High-Functioning Depressed Person

In reality, you won’t see me struggling.  I’m good at hiding it.  Very good at hiding it.  Look for it and you might miss it, because we get on with what we need to do.  I certainly do.  Even on the bad days, I’m frequently plodding along with whatever I need to do.  At work, back when I worked at the bank, I was often on a bad day yet no one knew.  Out of 100 employees who worked in the same office as me, only one person ever frequently picked up on my bad days.  In some cases, I’ve been on self-destructive bad days with blood leaking from self-harm wounds.  It’s not been pretty.

So high-functioning depression and anxiety is something we need more awareness of.  We need to get those discussions going!  In that vein, check out the post from The Mighty below, which will round off my point nicely.

If you want to check out more of Alex’s pieces you can find him here: http://www.pushingbacktheshadows.com/

Much Love
Mumma
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Young people have never had it so good… or have they? Although certain newspapers like to blame the ‘entitled’ younger generation for the world’s ills on an almost daily basis, there’s evidence that ‘moaning’ millennials and Gen-Ys actually have a point.

Yes — recorded happiness among young people has hit its lowest level in almost a decade, research suggests. And the biggest decline was seen in relation to education and work, health and money: in fact, over half (54%) of 16- to 25-year-olds are worried about their finances, according to the Prince’s Trust.

It’s at university that money worries are really likely to kick in, with a massive 78% of students worrying about mhaking ends meet, and half saying this causes their mental health to suffer.

Is it any wonder? Between unmanageable tuition fees and inadequate maintenance loans, the average student is left £221 short each month to cover essentials like rent, bills and food shopping. As a result, England’s graduates now owe more money than anywhere else in the English-speaking world.

Student Minds is a mental health charity that aims to help. Its policy manager Rachel Piper says: “At university, it may be the first time that a student is managing their own finances, and we know that the cost of living can pose a significant challenge to a number of students — and this stressor may impact on their wellbeing.

“Equally, if you’re experiencing a mental health difficulty, you might find that you feel isolated or anxious about your ability to manage your finances. You may also feel unable to make informed financial decisions and you might be incurring treatment costs.”

Research has already confirmed the link between mental health issues among students and financial worries, so support in getting by on a tight budget is crucial to helping keep anxiety at bay. Universities offer advice and resources to students who are struggling with money and feel it is having an impact on their mental health, plus are a number of external organisations that offer help and advice, including the National Association of Student Money Advisers, Studential and The Student Room.

“Being a student is a great experience but it comes with its fair share of challenges — living within a strict budget being one of them,” says Ashley Tate, chief executive officer at online student bill-sharing tool Split the Bills.

“As it’s often the first time they’re financially responsible for food, rent and utilities, students can understandably feel daunted and stressed.

“Accessing help can take that burden away and bring a sense of shared responsibility among housemates.”

If you feel overwhelmed by money troubles or you know someone that is, talking is the best first step you can make. There is help out there and you don’t have to struggle on alone.

If you liked this guest post leave a comment below :D

Written by: Helen Bird - You can find Helen Here :D

Much Love

Mumma

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Money troubles are always lurking around the corner, its always something unexpected like your car breaks down and you need a repair asap or you run out of nappies when you thought you had enough. Well, I've come up with 3 ways to get out of money trouble to help you in the future!

1) Small Loans:
Small loans are great for getting you out of that tight spot, it's also great for building your credit score too! Starting from £80-£500 you can get a little cash to help a long way, why not check out Small Loans At Cash Lady they're great and helpful and will help you get back on your feet in no time, you can even apply online!

2) Debt Advice:
We all have a debt or two but when you have too many to handle speak to step change, Step Change is a debt charity that helps people in money trouble, they go through your whole income and expenditure and see whats affordable for you to pay back and speaks to the companies on your behalf, Its not necessarily the easiest way but they can really help!

3)Create A Plan:
Creating a money plan is a brilliant idea, I have one, I write down when I get paid and how much I will get over a whole month, I then plan out which bill needs to be paid first and what amount I need to save for shopping etc then the rest is money to play with ts simple!

4) Savings:
I don't necessarily have a lot of savings but I do have my PayPal account, I use to spare cash even if its £2/3 and transfer it to my PayPal account, it soon adds up and can be used for a treat :D

5) Cut out the extras:
When money is tight you need to cut the treats out! Only if it's for a week or a few days it sometimes can be really helpful, use the £2 for the bus to work and walk instead or your morning grab and go coffee and cake and take a coffee from home, cutting out the extras can really save some money and give you a reality check on what your spending.

Getting out of money trouble can be easy if you make it. If you enjoyed reading this then check out more posts with the tabs at the top ^

Much Love
Mumma
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*Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, anything written is my own personal views of how to get out of money trouble, if you are in need of help do contact StepChange Debt charity or another charity of likeness.* 

Do you have trouble brushing your daughter's hair?
I do! Brushing Lilli's hair is an absolute nightmare! And not just sometimes, it's like it all the time.
Its always so knotty and it really hurts her head to brush it no matter how gentle I'm being, so we got sent through this brush by JoJo Siwa and it's bloody fantastic! I've never brushed Lilli's hair so much since we've had it its crazy!

The brush comes in 5 different patterns and colours and has been designed by Jojo Siwa herself and Hair Secretz, the brush detaches from the casing and has a space for hair clips, bands and bows and can flip between a detangle bush with 3 different size prongs to glide through tangled hair to a fully pronged hairbrush with ease.

Lilli really loves her new brush and is happy to even brush her own hair too (which is a first!) she's so thrilled that it has Jojo's face on it as well as a cute pattern and would like to thank Hair Secretz for sending it to us to review!

Jojo brushes will be available at B&M stores nationwide and at Amazon.co.uk for £7.99! WHAT A BARGAIN! And plus they look pretty too! To buy this brush click the Amazon link below :D

Let me know if you love this just as much as we do and what colour brush you like best :D

Much Love
Mumma
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*Disclaimer: I was sent this brush from Hair Secretz to review all opinions are my own, this post does include an affiliate link which i may make money from*

Having sex after having a baby or even with older children in the house is a mission in itself, we all get the urge to have a 5min quickie while the kids are watching Paw Patrol and the nuggets are cooking, but we all know that you need more than that for a relationship to keep alive! So we've collaborated with Lovehoney to show you how to spice up your sex life after having kids!

Clothing: Simple sexy lingerie or even a new bra and pants set can get you some good action, he may still love you in your breastfeeding bra and sweatpants but making an effort will definitely make it more fun and exciting, pick a simple lacy bra or even a baby doll to cover you mum-tum if you want to.

Sex Toys: Some of you may be shocked or even a virgin to toys in the bedroom but toys are a brilliant way to spice up your sex life, a smile vibrator can make the world of difference for both of you check out these vibrator gift sets from Lovehoney.

Light Bondage: A blindfold or some handcuffs can really spice up the moment, maybe even try using a feather tickler for some added sensual moments. If you like more than this Lovehoney sells a wide range of bondage toys and accessories.

Massage: Who doesn't love a massage right?! Well, i do! and  Lovehoney sells a lickable massage oil, it's absolutely amazing and tastes good too! It's always nice to get a massage and 99% of the time turns into sex, just don't fall asleep!

Sex Cheques: Some of you may be asking 'Whats a sex cheque?' or some may have used them before but they are essentially a cheque you write on, you put what sexual deed you are offering and give them to your partner to 'cash in' whenever they want, you can be so adventurous with this and have lots of fun.

Romance: Romance is in the air! at least it will be soon! You love your partner and they've probably been at work all day and crave some TLC, well nothing screams I love you like a bath full of bubbles and a glass of wine to share together, set the mood and maybe light some candles, play some music and just relax in each others company...maybe it will lead to something more ;)


Lovehoney Wild Weekend Mega Couples Sex Toy Kit Review:

So as part of my collaboration with Lovehoney they sent us a couples sex toy kit to review, it is a brilliant kit, with 11 specially selected toys for sexy fun in endless erotic combinations, including an all-time favourite rabbit vibrator and dinky butt plug for first-time anal fun, we had lots of fun with this kit already and it has really spiced up our sex life, my favourite toy has to be the vibrating cock ring as its pleasure for both of us and nice and small so it doesn't get in the way. The set really is worth the money and we will definitely be buying more from Lovehoney, the packaging was so discreet and I had no idea what it was until I opened it, Overall I would give this set a 10/10 and recommend it to anyone! (and that's honesty they don't tell me to say this!) 

Oh, plus the kit comes with jiggle balls ladies! Tone up that pelvic floor ;)

Let me know in the comments if you have some tips on having sex after having kids?!

Much Love
Mumma
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*This is a collaborative post with Lovehoney, These are my own opinions and reviews*

I’m Beth, 34 years old and a mother to one little boy, Charlie, who has autism.  I have suffered from an eating disorder on and off since my early 20s but this particular cycle has been occurring for the past 3 years.  I am currently approaching my discharge from ED services after almost 2 years in outpatient treatment and a short stint as a day patient.

I'm just writing to tell you that it needs to be over.  I can't do this anymore.

You've taken so much of my precious time, time that I can never get back.  

You convinced me, made me believe that you cared about who I am, about what I want and need.  

But you don't care.  You have NEVER cared.

For the last three years, I have tried so hard to meet your unrealistic expectations of what you believe a woman should be.  I have focused on nothing but wanting to please you. You have let me torture myself, let me think that all of this is me, because of me.  If I were just that little bit thinner, or more glamorous?  Or if I looked better in a bikini?  Then perhaps you'd be happy? Perhaps you'd say “Yes Beth... You are finally perfect!”

But you never will. I will never be “perfect” enough for you.  It doesn't exist.

And despite the fact that I am so angry at you for destroying my life.  I know that I will miss you. That's how truly messed up this situation is.  For the longest time, you've been the closest thing I have had to a best friend.  Some of my favourite moments and memories are those when it's been just you and I.  Not needing anyone or anything. Our dirty little secret. Us against the world.

But missing you can't be enough to keep me here.  The longer I stay the less chance I have of making it.  I know this. I've known it for a while but I think before I was just too tired to care.  I've made the mistake of making my life all about you. So much so that I'm not even sure who I am now.  It's like I can't think or breathe without you inside of me. You've possessed me and I let you. But you can't have any more of me. And even though my newly found fighting spirit may only be a tiny flickering in the distance; I will not blow it out. I will not let you convince me to blow it out.  

I know there will be days when walking away from you will be the hardest thing I have ever done.  I know that you'll remind me that I need you. I know that there will be days when the idea of running back to the comfort and familiarity of you will be excruciating to ignore. But already, just imagining the possibility of being free from your grasp gives me butterflies in my stomach.  

Perhaps I will always wish I could have done more.  Perhaps I will always wish that what I have done to myself, to this body, was enough for you.  Why couldn't you love me the way I was? The way I am? Why was it never enough?

But you don't answer.  You never answer.

So I'm just writing to tell you that it needs to be over.  I can't do this anymore.

Yours No Longer Yours

Beth Anne

If you want to connect with Beth you can find her here: http://www.mynameisbethanne.com/

Summer holidays are here!! Have you got a plan? I've been looking online for a planner or something for the kids so they know what they're doing each day so they still have a little structure! (my kids are a little loopy without structure)

I found this great little summer holiday calendar on Twinkle where you can plan every day for the little ones and make it so easy for them to know what they're doing each day :D  

The Callander shows weeks and days of the week so you can write an item in every box to show them what the plan is,  really love this and thinks its a great idea for all half term breaks.

Also, I found this awesome little summer booklet where they can document their summer, the middle pages of the booklet have 'what I did today' sheet which obviously you can print multiple of if they fill it up quickly, its great to get them writing and reading too because they get forgetful when having so much fun.
on the front is a great picture to colour in and personalise with their name too!

Lilli loves the calendar and booklet and will definitely carry on using them all summer as she loves to know what we're doing that day, its great to give her some structure now that she's off school.

The summer resources are amazing on Twinkl and we have so much fun with them too! Go check them out and let me know what you think below :D

Much Love
Mumma
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*This is a collaborative post with Twinkl*

Hello everybody! I'm Chloe and I blog at Chloe Elizabeth, and I love to talk about all things fashion, lifestyle and mental health. I am currently a psychology graduate from Birmingham (UK), and I am passionate about ensuring people with mental health issues are supported correctly. If you are interested, please do head on over to my blog! I have been suffering with a generalized anxiety disorder since I started University back in 2014. Though, this was something I did not seek help for, until December 2017 when I was in my final year and really struggling – it was at this point that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I restarted talking therapy and started taking sertraline. At the moment I probably appear to be quite high functioning, sertraline has really helped me and I’ve discontinued talking therapy (long story!) but here are my three tips for living with it and continuing to grow, and this is advice I’d give to someone even without a mental illness, as we all have mental health remember!

♡ Mindfulness and Meditation ♡

I’d recommend mindfulness to everybody who is anxious, depressed or is getting burnt out. Mindfulness and meditation are somewhat different, but I find both incredible useful. Mindfulness is based around taking more time to be in the present, to what you’re thinking and why you’re thinking. If you’re getting overwhelmed, take the time to sit and think. What am I thinking, and importantly, why am I thinking this? Realising why is the key to being able to look for a resolution to the issue, which can often be very deep rooted. Meditation, on the other hand, involves sitting and paying attention to your body. It does require being mindful but you’ll need to take time (even 5/10 minutes) out of your day to formalize it., so have a play around and see what works best for you. There are many ways to meditate and my favourite is to sit on my floor, legs crossed and eyes closed, and to listen to a meditation YouTube video. I’m aware that many people use the Calm and Mindfulness apps, so try them all out and see what works for you!

♡ Recognise Your Needs: Keep Busy but Don’t Overwhelm Yourself  ♡

It can be difficult to find a balance with this one, but I’ve found from personal experience, if you’re sitting around with depression, it can encourage you to think, think and overthink. Overall, this tends to make things worse and I’ve found it really useful to throw myself into my blog. I do keep busy with it but there are weeks/days where I’ll see myself getting overwhelmed so I’ll sit back and take a break. Mindfulness really comes into play here, as you’ll need to sit back and realise whether you’re doing too much or too little and try and adjust this accordingly. Eventually, you’ll become more acquainted with what you can handle doing and adjust to a schedule that works for you.

♡ Integrate Exercise into Your Daily Routine ♡

I know, many of us find exercise difficult to do, as day-to-day lives are generally busy. But, it’s really important to eat nutritiously and get some exercise into your routine. My routine at the moment is to walk to my bus stop instead of catching a second bus to get me there, but I’ve actually taken my bike out of the shed and once I’ve brought a helmet, I’m going to start cycling through the park to get to work. I’m very excited to start doing it! I’d recommend taking a look through your daily routine and look at how you can start integrating exercise into that. Do you work in an office? Could you walk to a park on your lunch break to eat some food? Some people will do exercises at their desk, but personally I think it’s better to get out and get some fresh air, as this also helps me.

Of course, it is important to look at the severity of how you are feeling. If you are feeling suicidal then I’d recommend seeking help from your GP and if necessary, call a mental health helpline, who are fantastic listeners (I’ve used them before and I couldn’t recommend them more!). I see these tips more as ‘maintenance’ rather than a cure for mental illness, so please don’t take any drastic action such as stopping medication or counseling based on my advice.

What are your best practices for living with mental health issues and improving your general wellbeing? I’d love to hear your thoughts! You can contact me on Twitter or Instagram, or leave a comment in the box below!

Thanks for reading Chloe's guest post and keep checking back for more posts just like these!

Mumma
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Summer holidays are fast approaching and we're all finding things for the kids to do, the little ones have plenty to do but the older ones are much more tricky, you cant just put them out in the garden and they'll get on with it, oh no they're much more tricky than that!

In these past few years Older 'Tweens' are more and more besotted by technology, I mean, I'm not much different at 26, I'm constantly on my phone or computer, my whole work revolves around it so it cant be such a bad thing to let them get used to, after all, we're in the digital age!

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Are you ready for this summer? I am! It's always fun but also really stressful, so I've found all these family events to keep the kids entertained and you sane for a little while. And I wanted to share this amazing guide with you all so you have all the best summer events and info in one place! 

LETS GO!