Saturday, 9 July 2016

Times are hard!

Times are hard with money.
Even though we get a substantial amount of money in a month, we're still skint! All the time!
I stupidly got loads of shit on credit and racked up in treat by not paying or late payments! Seriously guys, just don't do it, I literally cannot get anything on credit for like 6 years p, not even a phone contract!
I regret it, I'm paying back shit loads each month and it's killing us! Makes me so depressed that I wasted so much money and put myself in so much debt!
Times are hard with the kids.
Lilli, Megan and laten won't listen, they shout and kick and break toys and are bloody awful when they're together! Drives me insane, Olli is lovely but sometimes it's so hard to figure out what he wants!

I get super stressed so quickly and it gets me down cause I snap at people I love the most!
Times are hard with my mental health.
Shit shit shitty! Feeling down and depressed, over nothing, everything gets to me, everything makes me upset or angry, I rarely have any good days anymore!
My anti depressants don't seem to help so ill have to start new ones :(
Then I get the people who go "oh you don't seem yourself!" I know they mean well, but yeah I already know! It's why I'm on anti depressants, it's why I don't hardly go out to see anyone!
I can't deal with it I just wanna sit and cry or run away from it all and not come back! But I know I can't do that I can't leave my babies, or Michael, I'd probably fall apart even more, they're my rocks!
Times are hard with friends.
Ever since I had Lilli I lost friends, I gained some after, some mummy friends, then lost some more after I had Olli, I have some lovely friends who are always there and some really 'meh' friends who only come see me when it suits them!
Times are hard with family.
I miss my sister!! She's my best friend and she lives so far away, she comes to visit once a week but doesn't get here til 12ish and has to go to work at 4pm so we get hardly any time at all! I go visit hers every now and then but trains are mega expensive on my budget!
I see my mum when I see my sister so once a week, but she comes round sometimes but never for long, I miss living at home and having her there all the time :(
Times are hard at home.
Family life is lovely but the house is always a tip!
I admit that I'm a hoarder of shit and having a baby who needs me alot makes it difficult for me to sort stuff!
Hopefully we can get a skip soon and I can just chuck everything shitty away!
But, although times are hard I know they will get better, it may take a while but ill get there!
Mumma
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